The Bane of My Existence
by Shaeya Sedjet
Summary: The summer before my senior year started out like any other. This summer, however, I had a project to work on. The summer promised to be very gratifying. What I didn’t know, however, was that I was about to fall for the most unlikely of guys. IK
1. My Bane Revised

**Disclaimer: The characters in this fic are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. They are not mine. I claim no rights whatsoever. Oh!**

**A Note From Sedjet:** Hiya, kids! Yeah, I know. I should probably finish the fics I am already working on before I start another, but I didn't:-) This is my first Inuyasha fic, and I am really excited about it. I've always liked tough girls, so I wrote Kagome as one tough babe. I hope everyone enjoys it!

**The Bane of My Existence**

**Chapter One:**

**My Bane**

It was the summer of my junior year of college, which meant that I would be a senior in the coming fall semester. My brother, Miroku, had graduated two years ahead of me and was in the middle of his masters degree in theology and religious studies.

I wasn't what you would call "trendy" or "preppy" like him. No, I was more of what you would call a "freak," "goth," or "punker". I hate labels. They're so generic. How can you possibly encompass all of a person in a one word identifier? People are so much more complex than that.

My brother and I had always inhabited two entirely different social circles, if you could call my total of three friends a "social circle". Miroku was sporty and was a part of the "in crowd". He played soccer, hung out at the beach with the blonde, tanned bimbos and went to parties. I was into anime, punk rock, black clothing, dyed hair, spikes, whips and chains. Unlike any other girl I knew, I was into auto mechanics. In my junior year of highschool, when all of the other girls were signing up for cosmetology at vo-tech, I was in line with the greasers signed up for auto mechanics. With the help of about four or five guys, I had restored four cars in my two years at vo-tech. But as different as we were (and still are), Miroku and I care very deeply for each other. He would protect me at all costs and has done so on many occasions.

The year that I turned fifteen, I met a boy. I thought he was it. You know, "the one"? Oh, how wrong I was. Caleb Young was no such man. He would turn out to be the lowest form of pond scum ever spewed forth by the gods. A month or so after we started dating, Caleb asked me to go steady with him. I accepted his offer, and we began seeing each other exclusively. A month or so after that, Caleb changed as so many males do in such a situation. He became overbearing, jealous, forceful and abusive. If we were eating dinner somewhere and I smiled at our waiter, he would accuse me of sleeping with him. When we would go back to his apartment he would smack me around to "teach me a lesson". I didn't want to cause any waves or draw attention to myself, so I kept my mouth shut like he told me to. He was careful to never left bruises or marks where they would be seen by anyone but him.

Not long after the real Caleb reared his ugly head, he began forcing sex on me. I was young and inexperienced and didn't know what sex was supposed to be like. I tried to tell him I was not ready, but he didn't care. There was no foreplay to get me ready. No, he just slammed himself into me over and over again. I bled for a while after that. Sex became a nightmare for me. I began to do what we in the psychology field call numbing out. When he would climb on top of me, I would let my mind wander far, far away from what was happening. It wasn't so bad that way.

Caleb became frustrated that he couldn't get me off, so he found someone new. Mindy, I think her name was. He made sure to let me know that fucking Mindy was a lot better than fucking a cold, dead fish like me. Well, Mindy was welcome to him. At least he wasn't grunting and sweating like a pig on top of me in the backseat of his Mustang. I was glad to be rid of him.

When I finally worked up the nerve to tell someone about Caleb, it was Miroku. He had showed no signs of anger, only support and comforting words. He soothed me and stroked my hair and told me that I had done nothing wrong, that none of it was my fault. He even offered to take me to counseling sessions behind our parents' backs. It was the counseling sessions that sparked my interest in psychology, and I have been hooked ever since.

A few weeks after I had told Miroku about him, Caleb was found in a local park not far from his house. He was badly beaten and in a coma for some time. No one knew who had perpetrated the crime. I found out some time later that Miroku and a group of his friends were the ones who had beaten Caleb within an inch of his life. Luckily, Caleb had pulled through with a severe case of memory loss from which he never fully recovered. I was only slightly disappointed in my brother. He had always been the one to preach the value of patience and kindness. He was a pacifist for crissakes! But when he found out what Caleb had done to me, something inside him snapped. He snapped for me. He loved me that much. And for that, I valued his one and only show of violence ever. Someone had had the desire to protect me. Ah, but I digress. I was telling you about that summer.

The summer before my senior year started out like any other. This summer, however, I had a project to work on. I had my very own 1970 Carmen Ghia to restore. The summer promised to be very gratifying. What I didn't know, however, was that summer I would fall in love with a person I thought I could only have feelings of mild annoyance for. I would never have suspected that he would worm his way into my heart and proceed to turn my world upside down. He changed the very definition of who I was. I thought I had everything figured out before he came along. But he helped me find _me_ again, and he didn't run away from my past. He embraced all of me…willingly.

I was working on the Carmen in the workshop that my mother and grandfather had built for my seventeenth birthday just before they died in an auto accident with our younger brother. They had known of my plans to get the Carmen and fix her up. I was so grateful for my own place to work. The Vo-tech was stingy about their space and was strict with time constraints. Honestly, the shop had surprised me. I had always thought that my mother mourned the fact that I would rather roll around in motor oil than dress in the latest fashions and shop with my friends.

I was cleaning a carburetor with a toothbrush when I heard a voice that made me cringe. "Hey, Nubby! Where's Miroku?"

Enter Inuyasha Sato, the bane of my mortal existence. Inuyasha had been a thorn in my side since I was a fetus. Our families were very close and I was forced to suffer his presence on a regular basis. I put up with all manner of torment from both Inuyasha and my brother until I was able to drive myself around. I distinctly remember being eight and being shoved into the dryer and having it turned on. Luckily, mom came home just after they closed the door and turned it on. Miroku had been grounded for a month and grandpa had beat his ass. My older brother couldn't sit comfortably for days!

Once, on a family vacation, we were playing hide and go seek in the rooms while our parents were out. I was the only one skinny enough to fit between the adjoining doors, so I had the bright idea that I would hide there. It seemed like a good idea at the time! I had left the door open a crack, so I could get out, but Miroku and Inuyasha thought it would be funny to shut it and lock it. It was that moment in my life that I realized I was claustrophobic, and I was stuck in there for fifteen minutes before they would let me out. Do you _know_ what fifteen minutes shut in a space where your ass and nose are both touching a solid surface is like for a claustrophobe? It feels like fifteen _years_. I passed out. After that, Miroku and Inuyasha were ridiculously sweet to me…for the rest of the day, at least. I remember being held by Inuyasha as I was trembling and gasping for air while Miroku had hauled ass to get a cold washcloth. I remember the worry in his voice as he tried to soothe me back into a state of calm . I'm sure he was terrified what his mother, Izayoi, would do if she found out they had locked me between the adjoining doors. Once again, I digress.

I threw a busted carburetor at him without even looking up. It always bugged the hell out of him when I simply ignored what he was doing and went right along with the task at hand. He was lucky today, though. He caught me in a bad mood.

"You know, Nubs. If you behaved more like a lady, you might be able to snag yourself a guy. You're decent looking. 'Course you don't have any tits, but there are a lot of guys out there who like that Twiggy look." I could _hear_ the smirk in his voice. Gods, how I _hated_ that smirk! It was enough to make me want to wipe it from his face with my sledgehammer.

I glared up at him, hoping that I could kill him with my go-to-hell-you-sorry-ass-son-of-a-retarded-monkey-slut look. Alas, it did not work. He merely took that as an opportunity to toss another jibe at me.

"You shouldn't make faces like that. It might stay that way, and they you'd be totally fucked."

I got up, walked past him out of the workshop, up the path to the house, up the stairs to the front door, opened the screen and yelled as loud as I could, "Miro! Your tapeworm is here! Please come rescue me from its presence!"

I turned to face him with a smug expression, but Inuyasha was appraising my working overalls. "Are you a lesbian?"

"Fuck you, Sato." I pushed past him, down the steps and back to my workshop.

"Is that an offer?" He called after me.

"In your dreams! Why would I want to screw my brother's gay lover?"

"Bitch!"

"Fag!"

By this point, Miroku was standing at the screen door. He ambled down the steps and towards his best friend and hetero lifemate. "Honestly, bro. When are you going to admit you have a thing for my sister and ask her out already? When the two of you are in the same room, the sexual tension could be cut with a steak knife!"

"I can hear you, Miro!" I shouted at him.

I could hear my brother laughing as they headed for Inuyasha's 1976 red Corvette Stingray. At least the boy had good taste in cars.

**Author's Note:** So, what do ya think? Angsty and chock full of sexual tension much? I think so.


	2. You Ass! Revised

**A Note From Sedjet:** Wow. I had no idea that Bane would get such a great response. I am so glad that those of you who reviewed liked it! If you couldn't tell, I've been in a really angsty mood lately. I've already written the middle part of Rent (without anything up to this point), and it promises to be extremely angsty as well. Maybe I need some St. John's Wort….

I've said it before, and I will say it again…"_**I HAVE THE BEST DAMNED REVIEWERS EVER**_!"

**Inuzands** – You need not worry. I will not be killing characters off. Things will be angsty, but it will be a fun kind of angst. No dark, suicidal attempts. No rape scenes. No psychotic killing rampages. It's not my style. I'm glad you are enjoying Bane, though.

**Kellie –** Yeah, I had to stop there because I had to go to sleep. I had an early final this morning. But, here is another chapter to keep ya happyJ I'm glad you like it!

**Tammy –** Thank you so very much. I'm really glad you think the fic is so great this early on. We'll see how it turns outJ

**Mija** – You crack me up! Your review made me smile. I love it when people are mega enthusiastic about my writing. It makes writing all the more pleasant. I'm glad you're diggin' the story!

**Shaks** – Thanks.

**wierdgirl43 –** I'm glad that I am one of the exceptions to your AU hating-ness. big grin I am glad you like it.

**Nico** – Merry Meet! Thank you so much. I hope you continue to enjoy the fic, and Blessed Be!

**Lady Tennyou –** Wow. You know, I am glad that I started it out that way. The original first chapter was pretty grrr-y. I'm glad I lost it and ended up with this instead!

**Koishii Sweet – **Have I told you lately how much I love you and appreciate you? I swear to the gods that you are my favorite reviewer. No offense to the rest of you! You are all great! Thank you for being such a fabulous supporter of my work!

**Mair – **I hope you got my e-mail about your review. Thanks!

**Green Bird 2071 – **Yeah. This Kagome pounced me and threatened to beat me up if I didn't write her. She was demanding to be heard. I'm glad you can identify…with parts of her. I don't really like the idea of her being raped, but that kind of stuff happens and it isn't pretty. It will add to the angst, though.

**Deadly Tears – **Thank you oh-so-muchly!

**faithlesshope – **Yeah. It sucked, but he was scum and he paid very dearly. evil chuckle Caleb kind of came out of nowhere, too. He just…happened.

Thank you to everyone for being so appreciative and supportive of my work. You are all fabbity-fab-fab-fabby-fab! Now on with the show!

**The Bane of My Existence**

**Chapter Two:**

**You Ass! (Revised 6-9-07)**

The next day I was working in my shop (go figure), and who do you think reared his ugly head? You are damned right. It was one Inuyasha Sato. At the time, I could not fathom why the moron kept skulking around my workshop when he knew damned well that Miroku was never there. Hey! I never claimed to be observant or have any great powers of deduction! Just shut up!

"Hey, Lesbo—"

"Hey, Fag." I chirped without missing a beat.

"I'm not gay!"

"And I'm not a lesbian, so I'll stop calling you a fag if you stop calling me a lesbian."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Seems fair."

I considered him a moment, wondering what his angle was. He never agreed to a truce so easily. "So, what do you want?"

"Is Miroku around?"

I looked up at him with an ironic half-smile on my face. "Didn't you see his car parked in the drive?"

"Oh, yeah," he mumbled.

"Wouldn't that suggest that Miroku is here?"

"I thought he might be out here helping you," he suggested.

"When have you ever known my brother to get his hands dirty?" Ok. At this point, I was really wondering what the hell was up with him. This man was intelligent. He graduated at the top of his class in both high school and college. It wasn't like him to be so dense. In fact, the fucker was usually entirely too perceptive for his own good.

"Touche."

I went back to assembling the carriage of the Carmen. This project was coming along painfully slow, and it didn't help that there was a HUGE distraction that kept…well…distracting me. I could _feel_ him just watching me, hesitating. Finally, getting slightly creeped out, I looked up at him.

"What, Inuyasha? Miroku is in the house," I explained slowly as if Inuyasha were a patron of the short-bus.

Inuyasha ignored me and asked an alarming question, "Um. Would you mind if I came by sometime to help you with the Carmen?"

I just stared at him. What the hell was he asking! Why the hell did he want to help me? Never in his life had this boy done something to help me out of the kindness of his heart.

I looked at him skeptically, "What's your angle?"

His expression was guarded, "What do you mean?"

"What do you want? You have to want something. You've never offered to help me with anything. Ever. So, what is it?"

"Maybe I just want to enjoy your company," he countered defensively.

"And monkeys might take flight from my ass, Sato."

He crossed his arms and sneered. There was the Inuyasha Sato I was used to! "You know, getting laid could help that attitude problem of yours. If you weren't such a frigid bitch the majority of the time, some guy might actually want to ask you out or something."

I took the bait immediately. This was one of my favorite subjects to rant about. "I'm not a guy. I don't need sex to make everything all better."

"What would you know about it? You're a fuckin' hermit," he muttered.

"Fuck you!" I growled at him.

"Now, now!" He clucked his tongue at me. Is that any way for a young lady to speak?"

I was taking very deep breaths, trying to calm myself before I ended the meaningless existence of one Inuyasha Sato. When I spoke, it was controlled and very careful, "Sato, I would suggest you get the hell out of my workshop before I kick your ass." My voice sounded low and scary even to myself.

"Seriously, Nubs—"

"Sato, get out before I kill you."

"You are such a bitch, Nubs," he muttered and ducked as a wrecked carburetor (my beloved weapon of choice) flew past his head. "Dammit, woman! That almost hit me!" he shrieked (yes, _shrieked_. Like a _girl_).

"You're extremely lucky that my aim sucks. _I was fucking trying to hit you!_" My voice increased in decibels as my anger was fully unleashed. I threw everything that I could find at him. I didn't care if I knocked him out cold on the pavement.

"Fuck! Crazy bitch!" he yelped as a chunk of scrap metal pegged him in the shoulder.

"Get the fuck out!" I screeched, very near to tears. Unwittingly, he had found my "button" and sucker punched it. He didn't know about Caleb, so he didn't do it on purpose. He just loved to get under my skin. He chose the wrong thing to pick on.

Miroku came running from the house and skidded to a stop in the doorway of the workshop. I must have been quite a sight sitting amidst a disarray of chunks of metal, bolts and miscellaneous car parts, sobbing and folded nearly in half against myself. I half-heard him question Inuyasha about what happened. Inuyasha gave him a brief summary and I heard Miroku's feet slapping quickly against the pavement. He knelt beside me and took me into his him arms, murmuring comforting words.

Inuyasha stood there, watching the entire thing with a look of extreme discomfort. He worried a lock of his thick, glossy, black hair. His red, button-up shirt had spots of axle grease from the car parts that he had been dodging. If I had been in a less homicidal mood, I might have felt sorry for him. He looked like he may have felt as terrible as I did. _Good_, was my only thought.

Miroku turned his head slightly. "Inuyasha, could you wait for me in the house?"

Inuyasha nodded solemnly and left the workshop, his soft footfalls fading to nothingness.

Miroku turned back to me and forced me to look him in the eye. "It's ok, baby sister. What happened?" he asked as he stroked my hair. It was just like the day I had told him about Caleb.

I told him what had transpired between Inuyasha and me. Miroku gave a deep sigh.

"Don't worry. I'll have a talk with him."

I shook my head fiercely, "Don't you tell him. Don't you _dare_ tell him! I swear to the gods that I will never speak to you again!"

"'Gome, he needs to know that there are certain things he can't say to you. He'll understand if it's put to him the right way. Things cannot go on like this between you two."

"I don't want anyone to know," I whimpered, "Especially not him."

"Why not him?"

"Because he is here all the time! I don't want him to see me and think, 'Poor Kagome, the rape victim.' I'd much rather have things the way they are. I don't want him to be nice to me just because I was sexually assaulted. I don't want his pity, or anyone else's. Please Miro, don't tell."

My brother sighed. He didn't need to tell Inuyasha. Inuyasha had been there the night that Miroku and his friends kicked Caleb's ass. I had never known this, but I was about to find out.

The next day, Inuyasha came by the workshop in tattered jeans and a paint-splattered t-shirt with his hair up in an elastic band. I stared at him as if he'd sprouted puppy ears. I had never seen him in anything that wasn't impeccably clean or crisply pressed.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

I sighed, "I don't have the energy to deal with you right now, Inuyasha. Please just find Miroku and leave me alone."

He didn't leave. He just stood there, apparently struggling with…something.

"Yes?" I asked expectantly.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I said some things that were way out of line. I should have shown you more respect. I just—I don't know how to behave around you, ya know? You've been Miroku's little sister all my life, and now, you're not so little. You aren't Nubby anymore. You're Kagome—"

"Thanks for noticing," I muttered.

He continued, undeterred, "Shut up, Kagome."

"Fuck you, Sato!"

"Kagome, stop being a bitch."

"If you call me a bitch one more time, I'll—"

"Yeah, yeah, 'insert threat of bodily harm here'. If you don't want to be called a bitch, then stop behaving like one. I came to apologize for what I said to you yesterday. I wasn't thinking. I should have been more considerate, especially after…well…you know," He lowered his head, hiding his gaze from me.

I paused for a moment, a wave of dread crashing over mean. "What do you mean?" I asked, horrified at what the answer would be. When Inuyasha wouldn't make eye-contact with me, I had a pretty good idea of what he meant. He knew. My voice was very quiet when I spoke to him, "Did Miroku tell you about what happened to me?"

I watched him shake his head, but could not read his expression. His black bangs were hiding his eyes. I desperately wanted to see his eyes! And then he spoke. "I was there the night that your brother beat the shit out of Caleb." He looked up at me and his lovely amethyst eyes held barely contained violence, "I held the bastard down while your brother kicked the shit out of him."

I blinked once, twice. I had no words. For once in my life I—Kagome Higurashi—was speechless. I had not known. Miroku had never told me who any of the boys were who had helped him extract vengeance from the hide of my asshole ex-boyfriend. However, I certainly wouldn't have expected Inuyasha Sato to be among them. I was stunned to say the least.

My mouth must have been gaping, because Inuyasha said, "You'll catch flies if you stay that way."

I snapped my mouth shut and stared at him. Neither of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity. We just stared at each other, both of us taking stock of the other.

When I was finally able to construct a coherent sentence, I said, "I suppose I should thank you for that."

He shrugged. "No man should ever do that to a woman. He got what he deserved."

My heart swelled near to bursting with that. With the exception of Miroku, I'd never had anyone to protect me. Though, looking back now, Inuyasha and Miroku came as a package deal. If I was being picked on by a kid bigger than me, one of the two of them was always there to talk the kid into seeing the brighter path, or to pummel him within an inch of his life. I'd never really thought of things that way before. I just accepted it as part of the kid sister package, but all this time I had a sort of protector watching out for me. If only he had decided to act on his impulses when I was fifteen, neither of us would be where we are now. And in truth, we probably wouldn't have hit it off very well. Inuyasha at seventeen, was a ladies man. He was with a different girl every week and I honestly doubt that I would have put up with his crap. So, in a way, I'm glad he was slow on the uptake. I would have missed out on getting to know what a really wonderful guy he turned out to be.

**T.B.C...**


	3. Not Such an Ass Revised

**A Note from Sedjet: **Hiya, kids! Long time no read, I know. I'm a busy girl. I'm getting them done as quickly as possible. I promise. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**hanyou punk chick** – I'm glad ya like it!

**DaggersAngel11** – Yeah…Caleb just kind of happened. The really sad thing is that that kind of thing happens to young women all the time and no one tries to stop it. I thought it added a bit of depth to the character. Ah, the brother's best friend syndrome! sigh My brothers were too old for me to have that kind of relationship with any of their friends. There was one guy though…le sigh

**Koishii Sweet** – Ok, ok! I updated. Please don't flog me:-D

**Green Bird 2071** – I thought about having Caleb be Hojo, but so many people use either Hojo or Kouga as the baddie, I thought I would give them a break:-D

**animepeep** – Nope, I must decline. I am Sedjet!

**Angela Martinez **-- Yay! Another fan! I hope you enjoy the future chapters!

**Silver Goddess1** -- Good! I will!

**The Bane of My Existance**

**Chapter Three: **

**Not…such…an…ass **

Over the weeks, things between Inuyasha and I began to change. Neither of us would admit it, but there was more there than just a blossoming friendship. Once you get into a pattern of living, it's hard to break out of it. Nevertheless, I was beginning to have…feelings for Inuyasha. I wrote it off as some kind of silly school-girl crush and tried to ignore it. Do you _know_ how hard it is ignore a crush when the guy is standing over you and you are encompassed by his scent and his warmth? At times, I would look up and catch him staring at me. I wasn't stupid. I knew what it meant. I just tried to pretend it wasn't there. Now that he had revealed his secret, there was no way I could see him in the same light. I knew now that he was a deeper person than I had previously thought. And now, I could sense his attitude toward me had changed completely. It made things...awkward.

Over time, we were developed a daily routine: Inuyasha would come to the workshop and help with the Carmen. We would work in silence, unless I was trying to explain something to him. He caught on pretty quickly. I shouldn't have been so surprised. He was salutatorian of his highschool class. Afterward, we would take turns showering and I would fix dinner, usually ramen, because that is his favorite food. The man has to have his heavenly noodles at least once a day, or his world crumbles. We would eat in companionable silence and watch prime time television. I don't know why. It's not like it was ground breaking entertainment. Just mindless brain candy, which was nice after a hard day of manual labor.

It happened one afternoon. We were cleaning up the shop and laughing at the stupidity of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (it was a guilty pleasure of ours to watch their wretched TV show). He was laughing as he recounted how Hilton and Richie had been trying to feed a poor farmer's pig when the Richie girl dropped her Channel scarf in the mud and the pig began to eat it. She had tugged and tugged and even persuaded Hilton to help her, but it was no use. Both society whores had ended up face first in the mud, sputtering and squealing worse than the poor pig they had frightened half to death. It was a particularly funny moment in the show, but it wasn't his re-telling of it that had my rapt attention. It was the _way_ in which he told it. I had no idea how charismatic he could be, and I was in awe of him.

I guess I had never really looked at him before. I mean _really_ _looked_ at him. He had great features, almost feminine. His long, thick black hair reached to his waist. I would find myself wondering how in the world he kept it looking so healthy and without split ends! These were not the things Kagome Higurashi was used to thinking about—especially not about Inuyasha Sato! It wasn't just his graceful features—his perfect nose, his sensuous mouth, his strong chin—it was his eyes! Those captivating amethyst eyes were capable of expressing a wide rang of emotions. Now, they crinkled with laughter, sparkling with a brilliance that took my breath away. It wasn't fair that he should have eyes like that!

He looked up at me and grinned his lopsided grin that was quickly becoming a weakness for me.. "You've got grease on the tip of your nose." And then he reached up to wipe it away. My breath caught somewhere between my throat and my lungs. He had never touched me before unless it was to punch me in the arm or give me unwanted noogies. I blinked up at him, wide-eyed. His fingers lingered a little too long on my face and there was a moment of awkward awareness. He leaned in and I pulled back a little, but he was not to be deterred. His hand came up to cup my face. His eyes told me that it was ok. He wouldn't hurt me. A kiss wasn't going to kill me. Humor. At a time like this, he could laugh at me! I was scared to death. I shouldn't have been. I was going to be a senior in college for crissakes!

While I was mentally berating myself, he murmured to me, "Relax…" His voice was a soft caress. It made me shiver—still makes me shiver when I think about the timbre of his voice in that moment. "I won't hurt you…"

_Oh, but you will!_ I couldn't help but think to myself.

And then our lips made contact, and I thought I would die. The soft pressure of his lips on mine was sweet torture. I felt his lips part and his velvety tongue stroked at my bottom lip for entrance. I complied, parting my lips for him. I could feel him smile against my lips and all I could think was, _You_ _arrogant bastard…_But that was before I stopped thinking all together. His hands slid over my shoulders, left bare from the midriff tank top I had opted to wear under my overalls that day. His gentle hands brushed over my shoulders and down my arms, leaving chill bumps in their wake. I shivered and he pulled me closer to him.

His kiss wasn't sloppy. It was pleasant, and I felt a heat rising in me that was unfamiliar. That heat gave me courage, and I began to kiss him back with fervor. My hands came up, my fingers sifting through his hair at the base of his scalp and tugging ever-so-gently. My teeth grazed his bottom lip, and he sucked in a breath. I smiled a triumphant smile. He hadn't expected that, not from me. He was not displeased by it. In fact, he seemed to take it as encouragement and deepened the kiss, a small sound escaping his throat. Finally, we were too out of breath to continue the kiss, and we reluctantly broke away from each other.

We were gazing at each other in wonder, I knew, because I could feel it in myself and I could see my emotions reflected in his eyes. He smiled a crooked half-smile and swiped his thumb across my kiss-swollen lips. "See, I told you it wouldn't hurt," he softly murmured.

Where had this man come from? This was not the Inuyasha I had grown up with!

"Who are you, and what have you done with Inuyasha Sato?" I asked breathlessly, causing him to laugh out loud. What a beautiful sound it was! It was a clear, ringing sound of pure joy, and I was the cause. I felt light. I felt like I would float away if he were not holding me, grounding me to Earth.

"I'm the same Inuyasha Sato you have known all your life, Kagome. I have not changed so very much."

"But you have! The Inuyasha I know made me eat mudpies and set my hair on fire!" I accused.

He hugged me tightly, "I was a little _boy_, Kagome! That's what we do! Haven't you realized by now that young boys are stupid? They don't know how to show their feelings. They torture a girl they like rather than just telling her they like her!"

"But…"

"I refuse to let you analyze this, Kagome. It doesn't matter who you thought I was. What matters is that I am here now, and I am real." He brushed a lock of hair from my face. "And you are, too," he said with no small amount of wonder. "Who knew…?" He smiled, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "Gods, Kagome…I—"

:"Kagome! How _dare_ you!" Over Inuyasha's shoulder, I saw Miroku throwing a fit in mock anger. "You have stolen my best friend away from me!" He cried dramatically, covering his eyes with the back of his hand, the other outstretched behind him as he whirled away in a fit of melodramatic flair. We could hear him break into peels of giddy laughter as he retreated toward the house.

I groaned, leaning my head against Inuyasha's chest, "He's never going to let me live this down…" I wailed.

"Oh, I doubt that. He saw this coming long before either of us did. He's been bothering me about it for years."

I just looked up at him, stunned speechless. I could feel my eyes go impossibly wide. How in the hell did he always do that to me? The speechless thing! When I finally recovered the power of speech, I protested. "He never said anything to me!"

Inuyasha looked at me frankly, "How do you think you would have reacted if he had told you at sixteen that he thought you should date me?"

I thought about. At sixteen my relationship with Caleb had just ended and I became rebellious, mouthy and subversive. I was as angsty as a kid could get. I had been robbed of my innocence by a boy who had no respect for women whatsoever. I was a raging femi-nazi and would preach my beliefs loudly to anyone within earshot. I was wounded and wanted the world to know it.

I nodded sagely, "Point taken. But why now? I thought you and that Kikyou chick were hitting it off."

Inuyasha made a disgusted sound. "I'd rather not talk about her right now."

Now, I was interested. "What happened?"

"What did I just say?"

"You can't be all dramatic and then not explain."

He sighed, "It's hard to want to continue a relationship with someone when you come home and she is fucking some other guy in your shower."

I nodded, "Wow."

"Yeah. I had gone down the street to get stuff to make for dinner. I came back and there was some other dude in my shower with my girl."

"Did you beat the shit out of him?"

Inuyasha shook his head, "No, I got out one of dad's antique swords and charged into the shower. The guy pissed himself"

I laughed so hard I thought I'd pulled something. "Oh, it hurts!" I was still laughing with my hand clamped over my ribs.

Inuyasha turned his nose up in feigned indignation. "That's what you get for laughing at my misfortune."

"Hey! I'm glad she was a stupid whore. If she weren't we wouldn't be here right now and you wouldn't have realized what an awesome, beautiful, wonderful and humble girl I am!"

He gave me a sideways glance, "Isn't that what you Psychology people call narcissism?"

I nodded, "Yup."

He grinned, shaking his head. "You're so weird."

"Uh. You've known me since I was a fetus and that surprises you how?"

He rolled his eyes, bending to pick his discarded over-shirt off the shop floor. "I suppose it shouldn't. With a brother like yours, you really didn't have much chance for normalcy."

I giggled, shaking my head, "No doubt! But you wouldn't want me any other way."

He straightened, looking me dead in the eye. "I would want you any way I could get you."

In that one look, I could the promise of things to come. Dark, secret, yummy things that made me blush to think about. I cleared my throat, trying to hide my discomfort. "Oh. Well, then." I turned and made a beeline for the house, not knowing how to continue the conversation from there. I could hear Inuyasha chuckle as he jogged after me. The punk! He always knew exactly what to say to get me flustered. But if I would have stopped to think about it for a moment, I would have realized that one quality was exactly what I liked about him.

**TBC…**

Ooooo! I like this chapter! Go me! (Revised 6-9-07)


	4. Testing the Waters Revised

**A Note From Sedjet:** (8-9-06)If you haven't been reading the revised versions of Bane, I suggest you do so. I've rearranged some events and I'm trying to flesh the story out a bit, so please go back and re-read!

**The Bane of My Existence:**

**Chapter Four:**

**Testing the Waters (Revised 6-9-07)**

That day in the workshop changed everything between Inuyasha and me. We had gone from enemies to tentative friends to courting in a matter of weeks. It was so bizarre. I didn't get as much hell from Miroku as I thought I would get. He was really cool about it—totally supportive. I couldn't believe it. I thought he would be ridiculing me for years to come about dating his best friend. I guess sometimes older brothers really do know what's best for you.

By the time all this happened, we had the carriage of the Carmen assembled. Hooray! Aside from that, the engine had been assembled and was ready to be dropped in. We were only lacking the body and that, we could do in no time. Well, relatively. Ok, so it took forever! But I got to spend quality time with a wonderful young man that I found myself entirely enchanted by. Such a wonderful feeling, that.

Wednesday night, after we had finished for the evening, we took turns in the shower and then settled in to watch The Simple Life. Stupid, I know, but it was oh so entertaining to make fun of the two very daft individuals. I just couldn't resist. Not to mention, it gave me the opportunity to snuggle Inuyasha. We curled up on the couch with a bag of Bugles and cups of tea, and he rested his cheek against the top of my head. I still remember what it felt like to be so close to him in those first months. I felt safe and protected. I felt invincible, like nothing could harm me as long as I was there, snuggled comfortably in his arms.

It still surprises me that Inuyasha was such a gentleman. Not once did he try to take advantage of me. In fact, I was the initiator of the majority of our more intimate moments, until I became more comfortable with him. He was so patient with me. I still love him for that. I never would have thought that I would become what I became with him. The term 'wanton' is aptly applicable. I felt for him the way I had never (and still have not) felt for any other man.

Do you know what it is like to be with a person who makes you feel giddy with anticipation? You both try to ignore it, but the anticipatory tension is there just the same. Soon you find yourself holding your breath, waiting for the person to make the move. That's how it was that night. Neither of us was concentrating on Paris or Nicole. We were attuned solely to each other. We were even breathing in sync.

The air was buzzing with tension, and I finally raised my head from his shoulder to study him. We sat like that for what seemed like an eternity. My eyes traced every detail of his face, committing each feature to memory. My gaze lingered on his lips, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to feel his lips pressed against mine. I settled for reaching out and tracing those lips with the tips of my fingers. They were petal- soft. I had never thought about a man's lips being soft before. It was a feature I attributed only to women. After all, when was the last time you read a romance novel in which the author lingered on "his soft, sensual lips"? Inuyasha's gaze softened and he smiled against my fingertips, kissing them softly. I could feel myself smile back, and a part of me wanted to roll my eyes.

I've never been the girl that gets all squishy and stupid inside about guys! And here was this beautiful man turning my world completely upside down. I squashed the little voice that was raging and stamping and howling in my head about the oppression of women by men. I told it to shut up. I liked this man. If that militant feminist part of me could have glared, she would have. That train of thought derailed completely as Inuyasha nibbled my fingertips.

I had never known my fingertips to be super sensitive, but when he scraped his teeth gently over the pad of my index finger, I lost my mind. Fire pooled in my belly and I was sure my brain had just liquefied and dribbled out of my ear. All I could think was, _I didn't know fingertips were an erogenous zone... _

I must have made quite the picture, staring at him with gaping mouth and glazed eyes. He murmured something against my fingertips, but his meaning was lost on me. All I could manage was a pathetic whimper. He took pity on me and stopped his sweet torture. I moved my hands to his brow, tracing my sensitized fingers over the slightly coarse hair there. I wanted to memorize every bit of him. I wanted to remember this moment with him for the rest of my life. I wanted to be able to take it out and snuggle it on a lonely night in the darkness and solace of my room. This was a memory I would cherish forever.

Inuyasha reached up and grasped my wrist gently in his hand. He removed it from his face and my small sound of protest was turned to a strangled squeak when he brushed his lips against the inside of my wrist. He snorted with soft laughter, but his eyes were like jewels alight with a brilliant fire that spoke more than laughter. There was dark promise in those amethyst eyes and he held my gaze as he leaned in to me.

Our lips met in the sweetest of kisses. It still gives me chills to think about it. The gentle suction of his lips, the pressure of his teeth scraping my bottom lip. I was on fire. Every nerve ending in my body sang with desire. This was entirely foreign to me. Caleb had certainly never managed to make me feel like that! I thought I would spontaneously combust, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes. He made love to my mouth, nipping at my lips, our tongues entwining in a sensuous tango. I sank my fingers through his thick, silken hair and tugged, feeling the need to have him closer to me. He complied with a very male chuckle that made me all quivery inside. I wanted nothing more than to just melt into him, become a part of him. I dragged my nails firmly down either side of his neck, forcing a low, deep growl from his throat. At that sound, I felt things tighten low in my belly—things I didn't know were there until that very moment.

I could have stayed that way with him forever, but he broke the kiss gently. "Maybe we should slow down," he suggested. I wanted to cry. He made me feel so…alive, and now that feeling was fading, leaving only a strange tingling in its wake. I ached at my very core at the loss of his touch. It scared me. The man was as addictive as chocolate. I was scared of how quickly and how hard I was falling for this guy. But at the same time, I knew I needed him just as the rose needs the sun thrive.

He was holding me against his chest, and he could tell that something was wrong. He craned his neck to look at me. "Hey…you ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm just…I didn't want to stop," I murmured softly and felt myself blushing fiercely. Me! Blushing! What a ridiculous concept! Nevertheless, it was happening, and I couldn't hide it.

He chuckled, stroking my hair. "I think it's for the best…for now. We can work up to the bigger stuff later. I just don't want to move too fast with you." He stroked my hair.

I knew I would be thankful for it later, but now, his caution made me weep. I sniffled and he stilled. With Caleb it had been take, take, take with no consideration for my feelings. I was at a loss. How was I supposed to respond to his concern? I wanted to hit him for pulling away; I wanted to feel every inch of him pressed against every inch of me; but most of all I wanted to believe in him. I wanted him to cure me. I began to sob harder as the conflicting emotions warred within me. And just like that, everything I had accomplished in my therapy sessions, everything I had learned in my Psych classes flew right out the window.

"Why don't you want to kiss me anymore!" I wailed, my breath hitching on every word. Great I was hyperventilating.

My breath caught in my throat as he jerked chin my up, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes were angry, and it confused me. "_This_ is why we need to take it slowly, Kagome," he said firmly. "What if we were to have sex right here on this couch? You aren't ready for a step that big. You don't even know what sex is supposed to be like." His gaze softened. "I know it feels good and you want more, but I don't want to do anything you are going to regret later. I want you to be ready to make that step when we get there. I don't want it to be just an impulse that you need to satisfy. You would hate me for it, and I couldn't stand that." He considered my for a moment, before cupping my face between his strong hands. "Kagome, please don't cry. Seeing girls cry makes me squeamy."

I laughed out loud at that and leaned my forehead against his. "Thank you." I murmured.

"No problem." His voice was serious. I looked up and he was staring down at me, "I don't want to mess this up, Kagome. I want to do this right. You deserve that."

I could feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Happy tears. Perhaps this relationship wasn't doomed after all. I nodded. "Yeah, I do."

He chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose. "Feel better?"

I nodded, snuggling against him once more, "Yeah, actually."

He tucked me under his arm and turned his attention back to The Simple Life.

I looked up at him, "You know, you're the first guy I've been with since..."

He nodded. "I know. Miroku had the 'the talk' with me."

I grinned. "The 'You hurt my sister and I'll break you' talk?"

Inuyasha nodded. "I would have lost a small amount of respect for him if he hadn't. I mean, any self-respecting older brother has to look out for his kid sister. And you have special circumstances. Don't worry. I'm well aware of my boundaries, but I didn't need Miroku to tell me what they were. I would have been careful with you, anyway."

I sighed. "I'm not going to break, you know."

"I know that, Kagome. But what kind of person would I be not to take what has happened to you into consideration. I know you've been through counseling, but it's not that easy. There are triggers I need to be aware of. The last thing I want to do is trigger some sort of flashback that is going to set our relationship back ten steps. I'm just trying to do this the right way."

I beamed at him. Someone had paid attention to his Intro to Psych course. "I know. Thank you, Inuyasha."

**TBC...**


	5. Surprises Revised

**A Note From Sedjet:** Hi, kids! You may think you've read Chapter Five of Bane already. Well, think again! This is a completely new chapter...and so if Chapter Four for that matter!

I was reading and re-reading and thought to myself, "Sedjie, this story is moving way too fast under the given circumstances you've created for the characters. And the story seems only skeletal and slightly juvenile. Perhaps you should go back and flesh things out a bit and go from there."

So, if you haven't re-read the fic since 8-8-06, you might want to go back and do that. Like I said, Chapter Five and Four have been almost completely re-written. I promise you'll be lost if you don't go back and re-read. (Well...maybe not, but you'll miss out on some sweet WAFF-iness!)

**The Bane of My Existance**

**Chapter Five:**

**Surprises**

"Wow, Kagome!" Sango exclaimed as she looked at the Carmen. "How did you get this much done so quickly?"

"I had help," I mumbled, and I had to have been blushing because Sango leveled me with a look.

"You had help?" she questioned, skeptically. "I think I remember you saying, and I quote, 'No one touches this car but me. I'm the only person I trust not to fuck it up'." She grinned lasciviously, "So, who's 'helping' you?"

I looked at my feet and mumbled, "Inuyasha."

Sango pretended to clean her ear out, "I'm sorry. I think I missed that. Who did you say was helping you? Because I thought you said it was Inuyasha."

"That's what I said," I gritted through clenched teeth.

Sango just stared at me, her magenta eyes (contacts, of course) letting me know she thought I'd lost my mind. "I go to stay with my dad for two months and I come back to an alternate universe! Just when did you two start getting along!"

"After he kissed me."

My best friend's jaw dropped to the floor. "You--he--I--whatthefuck, Kagome!"

I shrugged, "I like him."

"**YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!**" She shrieked.

Miroku chose that moment to poke his head into the shop. He grinned. "I thought I heard the mellifluous voice of my beloved." He batted his eyes. "I've missed you, Sango, my sweet!" He smiled a slightly frightening smile.

Inuyasha pushed past him and into the shop. He was wearing a white tank top and his beat up I'm-helping-Kagome-work-on-the-Carmen jeans. He looked yummy. He crossed to me and Sango's head turned to follow his progress. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and Sango made a flustered noise. He turned to her and chuckled, "Hey, Sango. I didn't know you were back." Sango just stared, bewildered by the situation.

Miroku had made his way stealthily into the shop and had crept up beside Sango while she had been distracted by Inuyasha and me. "Sango, my lo--"

Her eye twitched and she whirled on Miroku. She pointed at him and then at Inuyasha and back to Miroku, "You--He--This is _your_ fault, Miroku!"

Miroku froze with his hand reaching for Sango's butt. "What's my fault, Sango, my love?"

She gestured frantically back and forth between Inuyasha and me. "Them!"

"Ah. Alas, dearest, they are not my fault. They happened completely on their own. I'm not complaining, though. My little sister finally has someone to take care of her."

It was my turn for my eye to twitch, "Your little sister doesn't need anyone to take care of her!" I would have advanced on him, but Inuyasha placed a well-timed kiss on my temple, and suddenly, I lost the desire to throttle my older brother within an inch of his life.

Sango looked distressed, "How did this happen!" she wailed and then she shrieked and my brother let out a startled howl as she punched him in the face. "Pervert! Keep your hands off my ass!"

"But it's such a sweet ass," he sulked, rubbing his reddened cheek. If he hadn't been staring at her butt, he may have had time to react before she hit him again, but my brother is hopeless that way. If he was in mortal peril and there was a 'sweet ass' or a nice pair of breasts in the room, he wouldn't stand a chance.

"Shut it!"

"Will you have my babies?"

She opened her mouth to say something, shook her head and said, "You're such a freak." She then turned her burning gaze back to Inuyasha and me. "Inuyasha, if you hurt Kagome, I will kill you. She's my best friend, and we've been through hell together," she said fiercely.

He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug, "She'll be ok, Sango. I'm going to take care of her."

"What is with this me needing to be taken care of crap? I am a self-sufficient, independent female perfectly capable of taking care of myself." I crossed my arms under my breasts and cocked my hip, looking at all three of them.

"Nope...definitely not Nubby anymore..." Inuyasha murmured.

I turned my head slowly and stared at him incredulously. I was trying to be serious and he was staring at my breasts!

Miroku guffawed with laughter and Sango rolled her eyes.

"You see!" She pointed emphatically at Inuyasha. "This is exactly what I mean, Kagome!"

"My dear Sango, you really haven't said much of anything. It was more like incoherent stuttering." Miroku pointed out.

She glared at him. It was an evil, magenta tinted glare that made her eyes seem to glow with a demonic sort of light. "When I want your opinion, Miroku, I'll give it to you."

Miroku seemed to melt--and not in terror. He looked at her as if she had just accepted his proposal to have his babies. "I love you."

Sango cocked her head to the side in the manner of a confused puppy. She looked at me and shook her head, deciding to ignore him. "Kagome, I just worry about you," she sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt again." She shifted her gaze back to Miroku who was making goo-goo eyes at her. She eyed him warily for a moment and turned back to me. "How do you live with him?"

I shrugged, "He's my legal guardian. It was him, or a foster home." I shuddered. "You get used to him. He's kind of like a guinea pig, you know. They make that really annoying noise every time they here a plastic bag rustling because they think they'll be fed. Once you learn how to tune it out, it's fine."

"Hey! I'm not like a guinea pig!"

"See? Just like a guinea pig. 'Wheek, wheek, wheek!'" (Those of you who've had guinea pigs know _exactly_ what I mean. Those of you who've never had a guinea pig...well...there's a reason they're not called guinea mice.)

Inuyasha was trying to hold his composure, but lost it and laughed obnoxiously. Sango chuckled and smacked Miroku for touching her butt again.

"Ok, Kagome. I just wanted to come by and see how the Carmen was coming along and to let you know that I'm home. I need to go spend time with Mom and Kohaku. We're meeting the boyfriend tonight." She rolled her eyes.

"He can't be worse than the last one."

"I don't know. My mother discovers a new breed of cretin every time she gets back into the dating pool." She sighed. "If you need any help with the Carmen let me know. I'll start drawing up the designs for the decals."

"Rock on. Good luck tonight. I hope he's better than Paul."

Sango rolled her eyes and nodded. "See ya, 'Gome."

I watched her go, her short, black skirt swaying just under her behind. I smirked; Miroku was probably having a heart attack.

"Sango! When do I get to meet your family?" Miroku called as he ran after her. "If you're going to be the mother of my children, I should at least be acquainted..." His voice faded as he followed Sango out of the shop.

"Three...two...one."

SMACK!

"But Sango, it's so cute and pert and firm and..."

SMACK! "Pervert!"

"If you'd just date me--"

"Nothing would change."

There was a pause and then, "Yeah...you're probably right."

I heard Sango laugh and she spoke to him in low tones. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but when Miroku came back to the shop, he had a look of pure bliss on his face. "She said she'd think about it..."

My brother had been head over heels for Sango as long as I have known her. He worshiped the ground she walked on.

Sango had grown up having to be the parent in her family, so she'd always had a level of maturity that you do not find in most children. Her parents had divorced when she was in the third grade. Her mother had taken it badly and decided she wanted to be "young" again. She started wearing skimpy clothing and staying out until early morning. That left Sango and her brother Kohaku at home alone. Sango had had to learn how to make dinner to keep them from having to eat chinese takeout and pizza every night. It was Sango that made sure Kohaku got to and from school safely. It was Sango who gave him his bath at night until he was able to do it himself. It was Sango who tucked him into bed and comforted him if he had nightmares. And it was Sango who helped him with his math problems.

Miroku admired her for her maturity and identified with her. In his opinion, she was the most beautiful woman on the planet--even with her magenta colored contacts. He had waited until she was "legal" to start avidly pursuing her, but Sango (being an intelligent and rational young woman) had thwarted his every attempt at wooing her.

"It's not that I don't like him or that I think he's unattractive," she once told me. "I'm just not ready to have any sort of commitment right now. I've done the mommy thing, and I just need to be alone for a while."

I could understand that. I'd made a promise to myself not to be involved with anyone until I was ready.

I have a good feeling about those two, though.

Inuyasha nuzzled my neck, his arms wrapping around me from behind and caressed my bare midriff with gentle fingertips. "You're not wearing your overalls today..."

I closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest. "Didn't feel like doing laundry."

"I'm not complaining," he murmured against my neck.

His husky tone made my pulse quicken. I licked my lips, trying to assemble my jumbled thoughts into one coherent sentence. "I think we should get to work."

"That wouldn't be nearly as fun as what we're doing now," he purred. He ran a finger along the hemline of my shirt and my lips parted in a silent gasp.

Somehow he sensed that and, leaving one arm securely wrapped around my waist, with one hand, turned my face to his. "This is the first time I've seen you in something that doesn't completely hide your figure," he whispered against my lips. "Let me enjoy it." And then he kissed me. This kiss was unlike our previous kisses. This kiss was full of dark promises--promises of silken sheets, hushed whispers and the sweet friction of skin on skin.

He drew my lip between his teeth and bit down firmly. I moaned and he whirled me around to face him. He drew my lip slowly from between his teeth and I gasped. The sensation sent a jolt directly to my core. He tugged my hair, forcing my head back and nipped at the pulse point in my neck. I gripped his shoulders, because it was the only thing I _could_ do. I was lost in the sensation of his lips, his teeth and his tongue. All I could do was hold on and whimper.

After a few more moments, he pulled away reluctantly. He was wearing his lopsided grin, "I suppose we should get started or we won't get any work done at all today."

I nodded dumbly, "Yeah…work…"

"I think I broke you."

All I could do was nod, completely dazed.

**TBC………**

**Author's Note:** I'm not sure if I just want to leave it there, or if I want to add to the ending. I tried several endings for the chapter and none of them felt right.


	6. His Pain

**A Note From Sedjet:** YES!!!!!!!!!!! I realize that I am a horrible, terrible, no good person! You don't have to tell me. The last year has just been...stagnant for me. My muse had left me until recently, but he is back and I am ready to write.

**The Bane of My Existance**

**Chapter Six:**

**Pain**

Our relationship wasn't without its faults. We were, by far, not a perfect couple. We were actually fairly volatile. We knew how to push each other's buttons and did so quite often. It didn't help that I was completely insecure about the whole dating thing. Yes, this felt different, but it was still an entirely new world for me. On top of that, Inuyasha would be a sophomore in college. I kept wondering why the hell he would prefer someone like me to one of the college girls that had to be drooling over him. While we were working in the shop one Saturday morning, I decided to ask him.

"So...what happens when the fall semester starts?"

Inuyasha paused with his can of primer poised just above the surface of the Carmen. "What do you mean?"

I cleared my throat nervously. "I don't really know how this summer romance thing works. Do we continue to see each other, or do we go on like nothing's happened? I was just wondering--" I didn't get to finish.

"Goddammit, Kagome!" he exploded. "Why can't you just trust anything?! Why do you have to fuckin' second guess everything?!"

That pushed the wrong button for me. "If you would pull your head out of your ass, you might remember why!" I shot back, throwing my shop towel down ferociously and storming out of the shop.

I heard him mutter a "Fuck!" and come storming after me.

"Kagome, goddammit! You can't just walk out on me every time I say something you don't like."

I whirled on him, offering a saccharin smile. "It's better than throwing a carburetor at you."

"What the fuck is your problem?" he demanded.

"My _problem_," I bellowed, "Is that I have an insensitive-jerk-bastard-ass-monkey-fuck-I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-you! My _problem_ is that at the age of fifteen I was raped by my boyfriend in every way possible. I was beaten for looking at him the wrong way. I was sodomized because he thought it was funny to watch me squirm. He'd face fuck me, then insult my looks and my 'skills'. So please tell me how to act, Inuyasha, because I'd really like to know." I was panting when I was finished.

He reached for me, "Kagome--"

I smacked his hand away, "Just go home, Inuyasha. I'm tired."

"Kagome--"

"No, Inuyasha! I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Fine. To hell with you!" he spat and stalked toward his red Corvette.

That's not what he was supposed to say. He was supposed to hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. He was supposed to tell me that everything would be alright—that we would get through it together. I could feel my heart breaking. People always say that and you think, "Yeah, whatever", but it is a real feeling. You really do feel a pain in your heart when someone you love betrays you.

I watched him go and didn't let the tears fall until he was out of sight. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I didn't see him for the next few days. I was certain he was finished with me and by that time, I sure as hell was finished with him. When he did show up, it wasn't with flowers and candy.

I was putting on the last coat of cherry red paint when I looked up to see him leaning against the door jamb.

"What the fuck do you want?"

He crossed his arms now. "So this is the way it's going to be?"

"I didn't see you complaining when you told me to go to hell."

"Grow up, Kagome."

"Fuck you, Inuyasha! What are you even doing here? Miroku went to the beach with Kouga and Bankotsu."

"You know I came to see you."

"Well, you've seen me. Now, you can turn around and go back the way you came."

"Don't be like that."

"Fuck you! You don't get to tell me how to be. Not after I aired my dirty laundry to you only to have it thrown back in my face. You've got some fucking nerve coming back here with that piss poor attitude."

"I didn't mean it, Kagome." He said desperately.

"I don't give a fuck, Inuyasha. I'm done with this farce of a relationship. I need it like I need another hole in my body."

He was faster than I expected. He was on me in an instant, forcing me back against the wall. "Don't give up on this."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't fuck you up beyond recognition."

"Because I need you," was his simple reply as he rested his forehead against mine. It was then that I knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I was terrified. I'd never seen him look so vulnerable.

He dropped his head to the crook of my neck and shoulder. "Mom has breast cancer." His expulsion of breath was warm and moist against my neck. My arms went around him, smoothing over his shoulders and down his back. "It's metastasized to her lungs. There's no chance of survival."

"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha."

He laughed and that laughed turned into a sob. Izayoi was the gentlest and kindest woman I had ever known. She was the best mom a kid could want. She didn't deserve this.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Just hold me," he murmured.

"Well, duh!" That earned me a soggy chuckled and I knew things would be ok. Somehow, things would work out for the best.

The next few weeks were painful. We spent many late nights in the hospital at his mother's bedside. I made brownies and cookies for everyone and for Inuyasha, I made ramen noodles from scratch. I did everything I could to make the transition easier for him. I knew what losing a family member was like, how hard it could be. In some ways, it was more difficult for him. He was given fair warning. There was time for it to eat away at him. I used to think that I would have liked to say goodbye, but knowing that they are going somehow makes the pain worse. It's easier when they're just gone. You don't have to grit your teeth and bear it while you watch your loved one waste away. You don't have to sit around feeling helpless while the person you love is dying before your eyes.

In those weeks, our relationship evolved again. We became a support system for each other. He only cried for me. He would cling to me and sob his heart out, raging against the injustice of losing his mother. He began to spend more and more time at our house, leaving in the wee hours of the morning. Soon, he was spending the night, my arms cradling him to my chest as he slept. I cherish those moments when he would show me his vulnerabilities. He would bare his soul to me, entrusting it to my care. I tried to be very careful with it, hoping that I could live up to whatever expectations he had.

I was brushing his thick, glossy hair one morning when his father called. I was time. His mother was slipping away quickly. He looked at me, his eyes begging the question that his mouth could not ask. My heart heard it anyway. "Would you be by my side while I watch my mother die?" I nodded, because what can you do when someone looks at you like that?

He reached out and pulled me against him, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder and taking a deep breath. He pressed a kiss against the juncture of my shoulder and neck and straightened, taking a deep, steadying breath. He held his hand out to me and together, we descended the stairs from my bedroom to the door that took us outside.

I climbed into his corvette, wondering how I was going to hold him together when I was so close to breaking myself. I too, had been close to Izayoi. She had always been a role model for me to look up to. She had been a photographer. Her favorite medium was black and white. She would rent old, classic cars and have girls pose like pinup models from the 1940's, draped across the cars in seductive poses. She was the one who had inspired me to strive to build the Carmen. I told her that she could use the Carmen when it was finished. She had been looking forward to it. And so had I. I was going to be her model for that particular set of photos. But now, that would never happen. I was losing my second mother, a sister of my soul. My heart cried out at the injustice of it. Why did the gods take their brightest stars before their time?

But I couldn't voice any of this to Inuyasha. It would be selfish. After all, he was losing his mother. All I could do was be there for him to offer the comfort and support that he so desperately needed.

As we buckled our seat belts, I reached across the gear shift and clasped his hand in mine. I told him without words that it would be ok. We were going to make it through this together. I would be here for him as long as needed me.

He gave my hand a firm squeeze and nodded his head. Then, he through the corvette into gear and made the dreaded final trip to the hospital.

**TBC...**


	7. Lost and Found

**A Note From Sedjet:** Well, I know it's kinda crazy that I'm being so un-flakey with my posts lately. I'm just in the mood to write. I always seem to write better when I'm not in a relationship or when I'm having relationship issues as has been the case lately. My man decided to be douche bag and it's breathed life back into my muse. Things are better now, but my muse is still alive and kicking. Let's just hope things stay that way. I hope you enjoy the most recent installment of **Bane**.

This is the edited version of this chapter. If you want to read the full, steamy version, please check it out on I'm listed as **Shaeya Sedjet Namir**.

Thanks to bloody knives and Steviedee for the reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Inuyasha or any of his friends...except Hikari. She's completely a fabrication of my mind. Everyone else belongs to Takahashi-san.

**The Bane of My Existence**

**Chapter Seven: **

**Lost and Found**

The ride to the hospital was the longest of my life. There was the feeling of impending dread. We knew what was coming. There was no escaping it. Inuyasha's mother was dying. I struggled to keep myself together. I had to keep it together for him. He needed me to be strong. I certainly didn't want to wallow in my own misery when he was the one losing his mother.

Inuyasha's hands were white as he gripped the steering wheel and the gearshift. He was scared. He was angry. What I wanted most in the world was to make it ok for him. I wanted to take it all away. Foolishly, I wished that I had the power of healing so I could give him back his mother. Stupid, I know, but when you love someone, you want to take away anything that might hurt them. I looked at his pained profile and placed my hand over his on the gearshift knob. He squeezed my hand. In that moment, there was no need for words. I knew he was thanking me for being there.

After what seemed like an eternity, we pulled into the parking garage at the hospital. He got out of the car and was at my door before I could even reach for the handle. He pulled me out of the Stingray and pressed me against the passenger side of the car. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. My arms came up and snaked up his back. He pulled back, looking into my eyes. He sank his fingers into my hair and kissed me. In that moment, I knew that I loved him. I knew that I would do anything to protect him. My hands came up and cupped his face, our tears mingling mixing together as we kissed. In that kiss, I tried to tell him that I loved him, that I would be there for him through every moment of this tragedy.

He pulled away reluctantly and swiped his thumb over my lips. "I guess we'd better get in there." He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "I don't want to, Kagome."

"Yes you do, Inuyasha."

He nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I do."

I took his hand in mine. "I'll be with you."

He kissed me briefly and wrapped me in a fierce hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you here."

"You would be strong."

He took a deep breath and pushed away from the car. "Ok. I think I can do this." He held his hand out to me, and I took it. Together, we entered the hospital's Oncology unit.

We stood outside Izayoi's room while Inuyasha prepared himself. I stroked his hair helplessly.

"Inuyasha, every moment we stand out here is another moment you lose with your mom."

He pulled me to him, kissing me fiercely, "You're a-fucking-mazing, do you know that?"

I blushed. "No, I'm just trying to be supportive."

He shook his head, "You're amazing."

I gave him a gentle shove toward the room and followed him in. We were greeted by the steady beeping of the lifesupport machines and Izayoi's rasping breaths. Her head turned as we entered and her eyes filled with tears of joy.

"My koInu," she smiled. Her gaze moved to me, and her smile widened. "Kagome, thank you for being here for my son."

"That's nonsense, Izayoi." I went to her side and clasped her hand gently in mine. "I wouldn't miss this. Since mom's been gone, you've been a mother to me." I bent to kiss her cheek.

Izayoi shook her head, "I've been waiting for you two to be together for years, Kagome."

I blushed. "Izzy!"

"You are a good girl, Kagome. You are so good for my Inuyasha."

Inuyasha moved to his mother's bedside, his arm going around my waist. Izayoi's smile widened. "Look at you two. So young and in love." She looked over at Uncle Tai, her gaze going soft with nostalgia. "They remind me of us when we were their age, Tai." Her gaze returned to me, and she squeezed my hand. "Please take care of my baby, Kagome. I have never seen him as happy as he's been since he has been with you."

I nodded. "I'll do my best, Izzy."

"I know you will, sweetie." she murmured softly. She was tiring herself out.

Tai reached over and cover her hand with one his large hands. "You should rest, Izzy."

"Fluffy isn't here yet," she said in a breathy voice. Izayoi was the only person who could get away with calling Sesshoumaru "Fluffy". It was her petname for the prissy, silver haired man and he would tolerate it only from her.

"He is on his way, Izzy." Tai soothed.

"Can't rest until Fluffy is here."

Not a moment later, Sesshoumaru burst through the door, his little wife Rin and their six month old Hikari in tow. The normally arrogant man knelt shamelessly by Izayoi's bedside, clutching at her hand.

"Mother," he whispered.

In all reality, Izayoi was not Sesshoumaru's mother. However, she was the closest thing he had since the death of his own mother. It was true that he had resented his stepmother and his half-brother for sometime, but he grew to love and care for them both. It was impossible not to fall in love with Izzy. Her capacity for love made her shine like a beacon and her presence soothed and healed all who were lucky enough to be loved by her.

Izayoi's face lit up. "Fluffy."

He raised her hand to his lips, gently kissing the delicate appendage. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner, Mother."

She shook her head weakly. "You are here, that is all that matters." She looked to Inuyasha. "Both of my boys are so grown up." She looked at each of them with a meaningful gaze. "Take care of each other, my darlings. You only have one family." She looked at Rin, standing shyly behind Sesshoumaru. "Rin, dear, bring me that beautiful baby girl. I would lake to hold her one last time."

"Of course, Izayoi." the young woman smiled through her tears.

Sesshoumaru lifted himself gracefully from the floor by his stepmother's bedside and stepped back to allow Rin access to the bed. His wife handed the tiny bundle to the proud grandmother and smiled down at her mother-in-law.

Izayoi looked up and around at her family. "I have the most wonderful family any woman could ever wish for," she smiled. "I'll be looking down on you all."

"Mom, don't talk like that," Inuyasha pleaded almost desperately.

Izayoi made a tsking sound. "KoInu, I know this is difficult for you, but we must acknowledge the truth of the matter."

Sesshoumaru placed a awkwardly comforting hand on his younger brother's shoulder.

"Fluffy, that is a sight that makes a mother proud." She nuzzled the white fluff of Hikari's hair as she gazed lovingly up at her boys. They had never been able to show their affection for each other, so Sesshoumaru's attempt at comfort was a huge step in the right direction.

Suddenly, Izayoi's face became a mask of pain. "Rin, come take this baby girl." Rin nodded, scooping up tiny bundle of cute and cuddling her to her chest.

Izayoi Sato looked at her soulmate. "It is time, Tai."

Tai looked down at his wife and stroked her raven hair, smiling down into her violet eyes. He gripped her hand in his.

She looked at me and smiled sadly. "I will send your love to Michi, Souta and Kano."

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and I nodded. "I love you, Auntie Izzy."

"Oh, Kagome, I love you too, sweetie!" she whispered.

Tai Sato looked up at his sons. "Boys, could you give a few moments." His eyes said what his mouth could not. Those golden eyes pleaded with them to let him say goodbye to his love alone. He wanted to spare them the pain of watching their mother take her last breath.

Sesshoumaru nodded reluctantly and ushered Rin out ahead of him. He paused in the doorway. "Come, Inuyasha. Give them a moment."

Inuyasha took a deep breath and knelt at his mother's bedside. "I love you, Mom," he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"I know, my KoInu. I have never doubted it for a moment." Her gaze slid to me and back to her son. "Take care of our Kagome. I think you have finally met your match." She smiled, cupping his face with her free hand. "I love you, my baby. I'll be watching over you."

"I hope I can make you proud, Mom."

"Baby, you already have!" She smiled brightly, brushing away his tears. "No tears, KoInu. Death is a part of life. Be strong for your father. He is too proud to ask, but he will need your support."

Inuyasha nodded wordlessly, "Goodbye, Mom."

"It's not goodbye, KoInu." She touched his chest with her pale, delicate hand. "I will always be right here."

He nodded. "Hai, always."

He stood and turned to me, offering his hand. I took it and together we walked out of the room. I closed the door behind us to give the couple a bit of privacy as they said their goodbyes. As soon as the door was closed, Inuyasha grabbed me and crushed me to him. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply. I was helpless to do anything but ride the wave of his grief, so I curved an arm up to rest a hand on his shoulder blade while my other hand caressed his silken ebony hair.

I don't know how long we stood like that, but eventually he released his hold on me and moved back to look into my eyes. He cupped my face in his hand and lowered his head for a chaste kiss.

"Thank you," he murmured softly.

"Kagome," it was Sesshoumaru's soft, commanding voice that brought me out of my reverie.

"Sesshy," I smiled, as he pulled me into a hug.

"I was unaware that you were dating my baka otoutou." He teased as he let me go.

I self consciously rubbed my left shoulder, "Well, we're not really dating. We're just--"

"Friends?" Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, his gaze sliding to his brother.

I wanted desperately to change the subject, so I turned to Rin, smiling. "It's good to see you again, Rin. I wish it was under better circumstances."

She smiled shyly, nodding. "It's good to see you, too, Kagome. We should have you over for dinner sometime."

I smiled, wanting the chance to get to know this shy little creature who had captured Sesshoumaru's heart. "I would love that, Rin." I turned my attention to the six month-old child in her arms. "Hikari is growing so fast!" I reached for the child. "May I?"

"Of course, Kagome."

I plucked the child out of her mother's arms and cradled her. "Hi, there, beautiful!" I cooed. I'd never really been big on children, but Hikari was different. She stared at me with her large, dark eyes, studying me intently.

Inuyasha wrapped an arm around my waist and peered down at the tiny girl. "Hey, Hikari." he soothed softly. The child's eyes lit up as she recognized her uncle. Somehow, she understood that this man was a part of her family, and when he stroked her cheek with a finger, she grabbed it and held on. I looked over at him and he turned to look at me. In that moment, I knew that we would be standing like this one day holding a child of our own. I felt it with a certainty I could not explain, and I saw the same knowledge in amethyst eyes.

Sesshourmaru wrapped an arm around Rin's waist, nestling her into his side. I smiled, thinking they were a matching set. The gods had made them to go together. They were an unlikely couple, but hell! Haven't they always said that opposites attract? The were content to simply stand and watch Inuyasha and I as we entertained a very amused Hikari. Inuyasha was doing that stupid baby-talk voice that we all do when we are around babies and I found myself marveling at how tiny she was. I lifted her perfect little fingers to my mouth and nibbled at them, causing her to shriek with laughter. Inuyasha pressed a kiss against my temple and Rin and Sesshoumaru smiled at our antics. And for a short time, we were able to forget the tragedy that had brought us all together.

Moments later, Tai opened the door to Izayoi's room and reality came crashing back in on us. He lifted his eyes to meet his sons' gazes. "Her suffering has passed," he murmured softly.

The boys went to their father, hugging him simultaneously. Tai Sato kissed both of his sons on the crown of the head, tears slipping from his toffee-gold eyes. I felt tears prick my eyes and buried my face against Hikari's pale, downy soft hair. I felt Rin's tiny hand at my hip as she hugged me, resting her chin against my shoulder. "It is ok for you to grieve, Kagome."

I shook my head. "Not when they have lost a mother and a wife."

"But Izayoi was like a mother to you, Kagome. You have just as much right no grieve as they do."

"I have to be strong for Inuyasha," I whispered.

Rin tucked a lock of hair behind my ear in her maternal way. "You can be strong and still grieve, Kagome. It's ok."

I sniffled a bit, gazing at Rin for a very long moment. "I've often wondered how it was that you were ever a match for Sesshoumaru, and now I know. Your temperance and patience are just what he needs. Kami knows there is no one else with patience enough to put up with him!"

She laughed softly, knowing exactly what I meant. "Thank you, Kagome," she murmured with a secret smile.

Hikari began to doze and I handed her back to her mother. She considered me for a moment. "You have a way with children, Kagome." I shook my head, "Just that one. She incredibly well behaved and she's just so cute I can't resist her."

Rin shook her head, "You don't give yourself enough credit, Kagome. Inuyasha is lucky to have you."

I shrugged. "It's not like we're serious or anything."

Her eyes twinkled, "Oh, really?"

I shook my head, "We don't even get along three quarters of the time."

Rin smiled, "That's part and parcel of dealing with the Sato men. The can be very stubborn and bullheaded. Just be patient with him, Kagome. He cares for you or you wouldn't be here to see him at his most vulnerable time."

With that, she went to comfort her grieving husband. I looked up right into the eyes of Inuyasha. He wore his pain for the world to see, and it drew me to him. I wanted so badly to take it away and make him smile again. As I approached, he held out an arm and I allowed him to sink into my embrace. I felt an intense gaze and looked up to meet Tai's golden gaze. He smiled sadly and mouthed a thank you to me. I couldn't fathom what all the fuss was about. This was you did when you loved someone. These people had practically been family to me my entire life. How could I not be here for them in there time of need? Didn't they know thanks was completely unnecessary?

------------------------

It was not until we were at home in the sanctuary of my room that I finally let my own tears go. We held each other as we mourned for Izayoi. I knew in my heart of hearts that there would be one less star in the heavens that night. I wept for Inuyasha and his loss. I wept for Tai who had to go through the rest of his life without his soulmate. I wept for Sesshoumaru who had lost his second mother. I wept for Hikari who would never know how amazing her grandmother was.

"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha," I whispered brokenly and he silenced me with a desperate kiss.

"I love you," he whispered frantically against my lips as he tore at his overshirt.

"Inuyasha--"

"No talking," he commanded as he tugged my shirt up over my head. "I need to feel you."

I put my hand on his chest, pushing gently. He stared at me with half-crazed eyes. "Please," he whispered.

"Inuyasha, I don't want you to regret this tomorrow."

He shook his head, "Never." His head swooped back down to claim my lips again, kissing me feverishly. His hands were everywhere at once and there was a heat building between us that I feared would burn me alive.

"Inuyasha, are you sure?" I panted against his neck. I wanted to be absolutely certain that he was not to regret anything we did tonight. I didn't want to be a mindless fuck for him. After all I had been through, that was not something I could handle.

He lowered his head to nip at my collarbone. "You talk too much."

**TBC...**

**Author's Note: ** Again, if you want to read the un-edited version of this chapter, please visit **Bane** on or I'm listed as **Shaeya Sedjet Namir**. It's my first attempt at a lemon, so I hope I make you all proud.


End file.
